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| Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh for hosting the IWSG. |
January is not a time to wallow in the negative side of insecurity-- to look back and doubt your ability, question your direction, feel badly about your lack of success. No. January is the month to look forward--embrace the positives of insecurity.
Positives? Absolutely!
Here's what insecurity has taught me in the last year:
- This isn't where I need to be. Insecurity is a catalyst for feelings of restlessness with my current progress and can provide the motivation to grit my teeth and reach for the next project.
- I can do better. A bit of doubt about my ability can cause me to dig in the craft books a little deeper, learn a little more, strive to increase my writing skill.
- I need to remain humble. While I don't want to nurse my insecurity, a little keeps me humble, and I've learned humility is the ingredient that reminds me to be gentle and kind with others in their walk, helping out in the ways I'm able, and even adds a touch of warmth to my own writing.
This year, I'm going to choose to embrace my insecurity. The feeling is inevitable. But instead of agonizing over the flashes of negativity, I'm going to strive to dig inside, examine why the feeling exists, give it a hug, and let it be a motivation for improvement and empathy.
How will you embrace insecurity this year?
Keep writing,
Julie
Insecurity can be used in a positive manner. Use it to keep pushing you forward!
ReplyDeleteI definitely have to make a choice about how it will direct me. I have it regardless.
DeleteWe all have it so it's healthier to use it constructively. I think you've got the right idea. :)
ReplyDeleteExactly, Laura. It's there. I can let it defeat me. Or not.
DeleteGreat advice. I agree. Humility is needed so you keep your mind open to feedback.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. For me, humility and self-defeat are such fine lines. But remaining malleable is vital for my growth.
DeleteWonderful advice. :) Using those doubts to push you forward is a great way to deal with insecurity.
ReplyDeleteI'm better at some times than others, but it sure beats being defeated by it.
DeleteAwesome advice! A great way to look at the new year :)
ReplyDeleteHi Ravena-- thanks for stopping by. I'm sure I won't always maintain this "grrrr go get 'em" attitude, but it's what I'm going to shoot for.
DeleteAgreeing with you that a little insecurity is a good thing. It DOES keep us humble.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes to you in 2013. :)
IWSG #137 until Alex culls the list again.
Keeps me ticked enough to move forward too! Best to you in 2013, Melissa.
DeleteI love this post Julie - such wise advice. A little insecurity is a good thing. ;)
ReplyDeleteIt certainly seems inevitable at any rate, might as well turn it into a positive.
DeleteI don't know how to use insecurity to keep pushing forward. I think I write despite it, pushing all my doubts to the side. Then, when I've finished, they come rolling back into place. Pushing them away each day is where the struggle lies!
ReplyDeleteI just commented on another blog that sometimes I feel like a bulldozer. I see the insecurity, feel it, but just freakin' keep pushing through anyway. I hate when it defeats me though-- makes me angry!
DeleteGREAT post, of course. I've come to expect that from you. I love the attitude of embracing our insecurities. They can create either a crisis or opportunity...look at them as opportunities!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Julie for showing us that a negative can really be a positive, with the right outlook. :o)
Doesn't it just tick you off when you let them overtake and defeat you? It does me. I'd rather let them make me fight harder to get where I want to be. I told you my mom called me Mulie Julie-- it does have its benefits. ;) Best to you in the coming year. Great post today, by the way.
DeleteI love what you said about being Humble. I think that's what makes us more teachable than anything else, and a writer it's always good to improve upon ourselves. What a wonderful post!
ReplyDeleteI figure humility is going to find me one way or the other. I can either seek it out and allow it keep me in a place of kindness and compassion, or it will be thrust upon me. Being forced into humility is painful. I know this from experience. Thanks for your comment-- all the best to you in 2013.
DeleteI like it. Embracing our insecurities. It's really the only solution. If we fight it, misery is sure to follow. I'm with you, Julie. I hope 2013 brings you everything and more. :)
ReplyDeleteThey will exist-- what I choose to do with them is entirely in my control. Best to you too Candilynn!
DeleteI like your thinking! I believe 2013 is going to be an amazing year. Best wishes to you and yours!
ReplyDeleteAnd to you too, Stephen.
DeleteYou've nailed it, Julie. It's a combination of humble plus confidence. Sounds so easy, eh? Haha, we'll work on it together. Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteLove the idea of working together. I could use a partner. Thanks, Joylene.
DeleteI loved your advice, Julie! Writers tend to be so insecure unpublished or published and it feels like we can't get rid of them. Writing is a tough business to break into because of competition. It isn't about the competition, it's about striving to be a better writer and staying humble. We'll work on your list above together as a community! Great post! :)
ReplyDeleteLivia-- point well made-- keeping our focus on our heart, listening to that inner voice, is a big push for me this year.
DeleteA nice, feel good blog :) And worthy of sharing!
ReplyDeleteI don't have a lot of insecurity about my writing itself. I know it isn't perfect and embrace it. Either for the red ink (feedback is always a wonderful thing) or the quirkiness of it. I do however carry insecurity about the ability to showcase it properly and get it out there.
I want to be you when I grow up. Truly. Yes, putting one's self in the spotlight to promote would be difficult for me too.
DeleteI smoother my insecurity with a cushion, or - if I'm feeling nice - I'll lock it up under the stairs. To write, I have to be convinced by what I'm doing. I allow the insecurity out again when I'm finished!
ReplyDeleteBoy-- isn't that the truth. Sometimes you just have to shut it up, ignore it, put a muzzle on it and keep going. Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteShoot, girl! I think I'm carrying more than my share of insecurity right now. My shoulders ache! Literally. I am going the chiropractor in an hour! ;)
ReplyDeleteJessie-- During November, and our revision group, I saw you as the most confident, self-assured person and your MS totally read like that too. Just very competent. None of us are immune, but hopefully we keep plowing through.
DeleteWhat a positive way to focus on it! Congrats. I think that embracing the inevitable and trying to make the best of it is the best course of action. I'm with you, girl!
ReplyDeleteHi Georgina, thanks for stopping by. I didn't embrace it this way for the latter part of last year, but it didn't defeat me. Instead it made me take a positive angle and figure out how to move forward despite it.
DeleteA positive attitude can change the world!
ReplyDeleteOr at least make it a bit better to negotiate!
DeleteMaybe a 'little' insecurity keeps us grounded in the real world. Staying humble is important too. Good luck for 2013
ReplyDeleteThanks Suzanne-- yeah well humility can be thrust upon us or accepted graciously. I've learned it goes much easier if I accept it! Best to you in the coming year as well.
DeleteDo I really have to hug my insecurities? I know it's good to face them and accept them, but hug them? (Hehe)
ReplyDeleteI guess I'll look at this as a positive way to stay positive this year. I really don't want to pout but I'm sure the bad days will come, all caused by bad emotions. BUT...
Knowing what makes my insecurities turn from a "bad" thing into a good thing is the perfect solution to accepting my shortcomings and moving forward, dried ink and all.
Here's to a Happy New Year, insecurities and positive feelings both!!!
Talynn, you crack me up. OK, no, no need to hug them, but danggit, if we're going to have them, let's find a way to grit our teeth and put them to good use! Happy New Year to you-- yours is starting out fantastic!
DeleteInsecurities! What're those? :) Oh, you mean those feelings that bog me down, make me think I'm not good enough, and cause me to appear unapproachable and distant! No. This year, that word is being deleted from my vocabulary. It's appeared too many times in years prior, that I think it could use at least one year off. Maybe two.
ReplyDeleteYes ma'am--- I need to hang around you. Love it!
DeleteGreat attitude - lemons to lemonade!
ReplyDeleteNow... if I can just manage to turn that lemonade into a nice margarita, I will join you at the tiki bar...
DeleteI like your plan of action. I think it is a very positive way to face insecurities and to learn a lot! :D Best of lucks and I will keep the dwarves cheering for you!
ReplyDeleteI love cheering dwarves. Thank you. If you could equip them with pom-poms, I'd be much obliged.
DeleteI certainly didn't plan this spin on the insecurities and have no doubt they will attack again, the little beasties, but discovered this Suzy Sunshine aspect after I wallowed in them for about six weeks. Thanks for saying hi, Al!
Nice spin on insecurity, Julie. We can either make it work for us or against us. We hold the power to choose. And the best part about it is, it has no power over us until we give it power.
ReplyDeleteJules,
ReplyDeleteDang girl, you have it exactly right. I have been thinking lately about people that we all would consider superstars. From the outside looking in, we all think they have it made, we think they are full of confidence, passion, talent, ect. But it seems that they all fall apart at the seams because of insecurities and self-doubt. They are surrounded by handlers and yes-people who don’t ever tell the artist the truth. They know deep down that they did not earn their success and their sub-conscience tells them they are not worthy. They end up drinking themselves to death or they commit suicide.
I think it is because they do not recognize and accept that it is okay to be insecure and it is okay to have doubts. It is okay to be unsure and to have fears. If everything I wrote was perfect, I would never have any insecurities. But I am not perfect and that doubt keeps me returning to my words, and when I am constantly working on my stuff. Hopefully, it gets readable and then finally good. When the success happens, I will have my doubt and insecurity to thank for my success.
They will keep me grounded and ensure I don’t do something dumb like buying a Ferrari and crashing it. (opps, already did that one.) Maybe they will stop me from watching “When Harry Met Sally.” (Dang, I did that too.)
Anyway, I say hug your insecurities. Nurture them and hold them close. Just don’t let them have the final word.
I think the fact that you watched "When Harry Met Sally" shows your sweet inner softy side, Rob. I find it touching. Really.
DeleteInsecurity is inevitable-- they're emotions. But as long as I have to have them, I hope they will keep motivating me towards improvement.
And yeah, I'm hoping the humility keeps me grounded so I don't go hot roddin' in my 94 Toyota Corolla (AKA the Tune Can). Although, I know I'm a hotty in that mean mean machine...
I dont think that the reason I watched "When Harry Met Sally" qualifies as a sweet inner softy side.
DeleteI was trying to get lucky in High School. I didnt even get a kiss good night and I wasted two hours of my life on that girl and movie.
If anyone can make a Corolla hot, it is you! I can't even make the tires on a Ferrari hot. Ha ha.
Great attitude! Big Hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Tyrean- not one I always carry with me, just the lessons I learned from my last bout of pity. ;)
DeleteHi, Julie,
ReplyDeleteSO nice to meet you and HAPPY NEW YEAR! New follower here.
Like Tyrean said.... You do have a GREAT ATTITUDE. And I couldn't agree more. Terrific post. Thanks.
All the best for 2013!
Michael-- thanks for stopping by, commenting and jumping on board. Very nice to meet you as well. The attitude comes and goes, but as long as I'm riding on the lessons from my most recent swim in the ocean of insecurity, I thought I'd jot them down and share them.
DeleteI don't embrace my insecurity. It makes me nauseous. But I wear it almost as a badge of courage. It makes me a writer, part of the group. It also makes me keep moving forward so I can hopefully escape it. And I do occasionally escape it, but it always manages to creep back up on me. It is what it is, and I am a writer. We go hand in hand, don't we?
ReplyDeleteBah-- love it. Yeah, sick to the stomach is truly the word for the feeling. I agree. I just am trying to embrace the lessons learned. Trust me, I'll be back to emotional vomiting next time they hit me. And yes, hand-in-hand, my friend. Thanks for stopping by, Nancy.
DeleteInsecurity is a beast for me but I've set some realistic goals for myself this year as far as my writing. I actually took a leap of faith a few weeks ago and even though I was scared as all get out, it was something that I needed to do to help me become a better writer.
ReplyDeleteOooo Melissa-- you should email me and tell me what you did that was leapy. We could swap leap stories-- I did a little jumpin' myself and I understand that fear. I felt like I was going to be sick, still do. I'm with ya! Yay us!
DeleteYay! The sickness thing never seems to go away for me either. LOL!
DeleteWe should face insecurity head-on and then do whatever it is we're insecure about in spite of our insecurity.
ReplyDeleteI get the image of a tank barreling through, Carrie-Anne!
DeleteA downright brilliant perspective. I do like your attitude!
ReplyDeleteCheck me on it next time I'm whining. ;)
DeleteLove the idea of embracing insecurities and using them as an impetus for improvement!
ReplyDeleteWonderful post! :)
Thanks Lexie-- I only came to this after a good, long wallow. I hope I can remember this next time they hit me with crippling force.
DeleteHonestly, I think I had a complete meltdown, but I feel so much better for it. I've kept so much of that inside for way too long, trying not to voice it but to smother it was a mistake. I hate being negative, but I was filled with it! NO MORE! I've released it to the blogosphere and the angels of IWSG have destroyed it with their heavenly voices.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!
Yolanda, I read your blog and am impressed you just "threw it up" and out there. Sometimes it stays all squooshed inside and the only other people who can understand are other readers. You really did get smacked by life for a bit there too. Glad you are hanging in with writing (and for my sake, your blog!)
DeleteWhat a perfect balance of thoughts here, Julie. I agree with all three key points. And definitely humility! So important... it keeps us in the right perspective...
ReplyDeleteHi Morgan-- if I can use insecurity to keep me moving forward (because who wants to stay in the icky spot or quit after so much investment), then it's worth it. Happy New Year.
DeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteWell I think you are just about the most humble person I know and your post inspires me for many different reasons (I'll be hugging my insecurities, too :)
Thanks and all the best with your writing and all other projects, too :)
Hey Mark-- thanks for stopping by and such kind words. I try to be gentle with all the yukky feelings, then shoo them away, since they are just feeble feelings. Can't wait to see where you are lead and what doors, I KNOW, will open for you!
DeleteThis was such a great post, I totally needed to read this. Thanks Julie, wishing you the very best for 2013!
ReplyDeleteThanks Elise. Cheers to you in the new year.
Deletelike you, i want to use my insecurity to motivate me. i plow over it. and plan the heck out of how to do it. if i set a date & tell others, i have to go thru with it...right? i also tell myself wortying does nothing, just gotta do it!
ReplyDeletepep talks are great, believing & executing is the tough part!
heres to successfully overcoming in 2013!
Yeah I guess, for me, it's not that I don't have it. I do. In abundance. And I learned from it last year. Hopefully, I'll learn even more from it this year. Best to you Tara!
DeleteAnother excellent post, Julie! I love visiting your blog because it renews my spirit! *hugs*
ReplyDeleteYou're so kind, Jackie. Glad you stopped by. Thanks and hugs back (can use them today-- our thermometer reads -22).
DeleteThe good thing about being an insecure writer, is that you're in good company. I haven't met a writer yet that wasn't insecure. Comes with the territory. But insecurity can make you try harder. Good luck with your goals in 2013, Julie!
ReplyDeleteWell isn't that the truth. It does seem to be the common bond among us. And I doubt our profession is alone in this shared trait. My guess is insecurity is born from an illness of comparison and perfectionism. Good luck to you too, Gwen!
DeleteYou've just described my mantra for this year, Julie! :)
ReplyDeleteAll right then. I'll be checking in with you about May or June and you can check in with me-- see how we're doing letting the insecurity exist without defeating us but rather pushing us forward!
Delete