Please welcome Alexandra and take a few moments to read her thoughts and relish her gorgeous expression of thought.
WRITING WHILE FORTY—Life As a Dress Rehearsal
As I turn 40 in two months, I have come to realize
that life is a dress rehearsal designed to prepare you for your purpose. Writing has always been a part of me. I sometimes think that I nursed a sippy cup with
one hand and a No. 2 pencil with another. Stories have always been deeply rooted in me like flowered vines winding
themselves through the trellis of my being. Words rock me in their womb, soothing like a salve and amnesiac like a
blunt force. Whether read or written,
words anesthetize the harsh realities of my world.
Even though words had this profound effect on me,
through kismet or outside influences, I chose a different path for seventeen
years. I became a secondary English
teacher. Words & I still danced with
each other, interconnected like ampersands. Ideas still flowed out of me. Embryonic stories & poems turned
orphans thanks, to the 24/7 time commitment of teaching.
I still wielded words into emotion-tinged poetry—or
emoetry as I like to call it—when someone or something knocked me
off-kilter. I wrote with my students and
created stories to teach literary and writing concepts for my sister, who is
also an elementary teacher.
But instilling the love of literature and writing
into young minds took precedence.
My teaching journey led me to diverse learning
communities filled with struggling readers & writers who not only wrestled
with the written word, but also with adult-sized realities hemmed inside social
and economic constructs. Along the way, I entered the world of academia and
taught writing to freshmen.
Then life happened. A succession of illnesses and ups-and-downs literally disintegrated the
boundaries of my existence. I came back
to writing, the heartbreaker returning to the jilted and neglected lover. The muse welcomed me back. Strands of stories and poems, real and
imagined experiences, spun out in strands from my fingers, my mind unraveling
them from its skein.
So I decided to submit some of my writing. Ahh, the sweet sorrow of rejection. I received so many rejection letters that
they became the new wallpaper of my workspace.
I became discouraged. I doubted
my ability to write and thought that I was too old to pursue this publishing
thing. I originally chose a different
path, and I must deal with the consequences of that choice.
Then middle age tapped on me on the shoulder. I decided to peck the keyboard again and
throw my anchor out into the writing sea again.
In addition to my desire to publish contemporary
writing and young adult literature, I wanted to share my experiences with
others. For years, I had the idea of the
use of technology to introduce people, especially teachers, to the use of story
to teach reading and writing concepts and introduce them to unknown young adult
writers whose books could impact adolescents.
So I did what every writer does: I started a blog As I wrote posts, I saw formally rejected
pieces serving a different purpose and my experiences informing my writing and
life with growth.
Pursuing writing full-time now has taught me a
valuable lesson: life is a dress
rehearsal. Things that we see as
setbacks serve a greater purpose in guiding us to where we should be. Now the woman and writer that I am going to
be in middle age are joining the dance with my muse and me.
And the seamlessness of our movements is leading my
writing into its own middle age.
Alexandra Caselle is an aspiring, native Floridian writer
and poet. She maintains two blogs: Womanlution:
Inside the Mind of Alexandra Caselle (http://womanlution.wordpress.com)
, a blog of young adult literature reviews, original YA and literary/reading
concept stories, teaching memoirs, and a little something of everything and Rhet Effects (http://rheteffects.wordpress.com)
, a blog about writing and writing conventions through the art of the
story. She aims to change the literary
and educational world, one story at a time. She is currently working on a novel
and a book of poetry. She also is known
to hang out on Twitter, Facebook, & SheWrites.
I feel inspired and hope you do too. Thank you, Alexandra.
Keep Writing,
Julie


Alexandra,
ReplyDeleteI thank you for making your works public for all to see. Even more importantly, I thank you for serving your community via the teaching profession. Every day we are bombarded from the media. In every form, they tell us that our country is failing in ever manner possible. We are told about the murders, crime, lack of ethics and general malaise that permeates our culture. I believe this constitutes about 1% of the world’s population.
I believe that 90% of the people who live on the Earth are good, kind hearted people who just want to raise their families, be a positive influence in their neighborhood and live in peace.
The other 9% are people like you. Your work is wonderful. It is inspiring and thought provoking. I have just perused your site and already I am a fan. Your writing is sharp, clear and intelligent. Thank you for making yourself available to the blog world. I look forward to exploring your world.
Julie, I believe that you are in that magical 9% as well. Thank you for finding folks like Alexandra and taking time away from your work to highlight her.
I'm in some percentage, for sure. Not sure it's the 9% ;). Thanks for stopping by and encouraging Alexandra. I love her writing as well.
DeleteThank you, Rob. If we were to believe everything the media says, we would have no hope at all. I also believe that there are good-hearted people. Of course, Julie is an example of one of them. Our kids need to believe that and have hope in their educational system and their world. Thanks again for your kind comment.
DeleteIts great to meet Alexandra! I appreciate anyone who writes poetry. Its not my gift, although I have penned haiku.
ReplyDeleteMine either, Stephen and I wish it was. I think having a feel for poetry enhances any kind of writing.
DeleteWell, I hadn't always thought of myself as a poet. I saw other people's poems and thought of my own as just my emotions,not good poetry. I started gaining my confidence by writing haikus. I love the strictness of their structure. They remind me of tweets...a new tagline: haikus the twitter of poetry.
Delete:) Did you know that forty is the only age which is spelled in alphabetic order? It's made me proud of being 40. As for the rejections as wallpaper - maybe that's what us writer's should do with them ;)
ReplyDeleteWow, I hadn't realized that. I guess that's a different way of looking at it. Yes, I'm thinking of using them to create a wall of motivation instead of a wall of shame. ;)
DeleteAlexandria, it's a pleasure meeting you! I realize that 40 is middle age, but we don't have to say it out loud. Or write it. That way, people think we're in our 30's a little longer.
ReplyDeleteUnless you've led a really hard life. Then say 40 so people won't think 50.
Lol. I know. Well, I figured since I claimed to be 29 throughout my thirties, that I might as well claim it. But now I guess I can say I'm 39 throughout my 40s. Uh, wait a minute, let me shave off four more years. Thanks for the idea ;)
DeleteI hope I'm still writing in my 40's. I want to be rockin' those words!
ReplyDeleteYes, Emily. I hope to be rocking them longer than that even in my rocking chair that I already picked out at Cracker Barrel. ;) Thanks for responding!
DeleteI'll have to find her on SheWrites! Great post!
ReplyDeleteLook her up-- part of our community there. I'm making such great connections with SheWrites!
DeleteThanks, Katie. Happy to connect with you here and on SheWrites!
DeleteI like Stephen King's idea of nailing rejection letter to the wall. I bet he's not doing that anymore.
ReplyDeleteNo, I doubt he is either. He is one of my favorite writers. If I had his imagination, I would be afraid to sleep! Thanks for responding.
DeleteBeautiful and inspiring post. I love your statement about growth and writing. Thank you for sharing Alexandra!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tyrean. Yes, every day is a step toward growth. I guess that is a part of change. Writing is a winding path toward enlightenment. You just have to overlook the growing pains you experience on the journey.
DeleteThis is such an inspiring post. I turned 40 a few years ago and I love your idea about life as a dress rehearsal. For a long time I was angry at myself for taking so long to figure out my purpose, that I wanted to write. Now I think about it differently, but I hadn't been able to describe the feeling until reading your intro.
ReplyDeleteGreat to meet you Alexandra! And thank you for sharing, Julie.
Thanks, Julie. I was angry at myself for a long time as well. I just recently came to this conclusion. I think back throughout my life and see how most things play a part in creating my present. It is a wonderful feeling to find your purpose and finally put it into action.
DeleteI wonder how many rejections a popular writer may have gotten in their day. It is good to learn from these trials.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good question. I have read about that somewhere, but I can't remember. They probably get alot, but we do not see their journey to publication.
DeleteHi, Alexandra and Julie,
ReplyDeleteInteresting the way our writing ebbs and flows as we go through life and so many of us only come back to it later in life.
Yes, it is interesting. I used to regret that it took me so ling to come back. But now I'm just happy that it is still there and that I was able to come back.
DeleteBeautiful piece. Evidently words love you too.
ReplyDelete(And I'm 43, so I think 40 is just awesome!)
Thanks, Elizabeth. Yes, I'm beginning to see it as awesome,too. It's just another notch on my belt. ;)
DeleteLife always happens, there will always be things in the way. But we return to those things we are meant to do. We never give up.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. I have begun to think of us as characters in the play called life. If we only experienced good times and no setbacks, then we would remain static characters, never changing. Our life experiences make us more dynamic.
DeleteGreat post. Alexandra does seem to dance with her words. It's so great to be able to express so much of yourself through words and be able to teach a growing generation to learn to love them.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nancy. I definitely have enjoyed helping students learn to love words. When I was in the classroom, I loved it when a student said that he or she didn't like reading or writing. Before the year ended, the student would have found at least one book or writing topic he enjoyed. One girl nicknamed me the "book whisperer" because I would hook each student up with the perfect book.
DeleteThat is great. I remember, for me, it took that particular book at different stages of my life to get me to enjoy the idea of reading something I never would have otherwise, like Macbeth in the 9th grade, and The Grapes of Wrath and Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man in high school.
DeleteGreat post, Alexandra! I also came back to writing many years later and I feel strongly that the experiences I've had inform my fiction now. The thing I struggle with is being more open to sharing my experiences in essays. For some reason, the thought of being completely open scares me to death.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Reese. I struggle with the same thing when I think about writing essays. Vulnerability is one of those traits that writers possess because writing is such an intimate process.
DeleteSuch a great post here. And plenty of emotion in those words. "Things that we see as setbacks serve a greater purpose in guiding us to where we should be." Amen to that. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for responding, Al. I repeat that particular line daily as a reminder. :)
DeleteI can't whine about the rejections. They've made me a better writer. I think a lot of writers forget this. It might not feel like it at the time, but agents are doing us a favor in the long run. :D
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, Stina. There are some rejected pieces that I have reread with fresh eyes and could see areas of improvement. I think, for me, I am so wrapped up in the "no." I realize that I need distance from the piece so that I can see it through a new perspective.
DeleteThis is an awesome post, and I know I use that word too much, but until I find a better one, it will do.
ReplyDeleteTeachers are (or definitely should be) the most honored of professions. Alexandra, I love the way you wrote of your journey and wish you well with your writing career. I think the two are truly compatible for all you now offer the rest of us! Teacher you will always be, writing is now your subject. Thank you!
Thank you for your kind response, Yolanda. I never thought about that: "Teacher you will always be, writing is now your subject." I wished there was a "like" button for comments!
DeleteNice to see you here too, Alexandra. No matter what life brings or how old you get, the words inside will always find their way out. What a wonderful post. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Melissa. Yes, they will always find a way out. You just have to remain open to that possibility. I have learned that. Now I have the urge to quote Star Wars after that...the force is with me...:)
DeleteLearning about others deal with the ups and downs of life (and writing) is truly inspiring. What a lovely post! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your response, Candilynn. I'm glad you found my experience inspiring.
DeleteHi Julie,
ReplyDeleteJust dropped by to let you know that you were voted Second Most Encouraging Blogger on my blog.
Congrats! Please stop by to find out how you can claim your prize. http://sylmion.blogspot.com/2013/02/finally-i-announce-winners.html
Misha, this is probably one of the most rewarding acknowledgements I've ever received. I can think of few things more important on this writing journey than giving and receiving encouragement. I'm very humbled. Thank you for letting me know. Julie
DeleteI've got almost 7 years on you, dear. It only gets worse. LOL
ReplyDeleteKidding. I enjoyed reading about your experiences. You're obviously a talented, generous person, and I'm glad Julie hosted you.
Lol, Melissa. Thank you for your kind comments. I'm glad
DeleteI'm glad Julie hosted me,too. I've met some interesting writers.
DeleteOh my, my, my! Alexandra, I think I'm smitten by your prose. You have a wonderful way with words. My favorite part of this post is when you said, "Embryonic stories & poems turned orphans....."
ReplyDeleteI have never viewed my abandoned manuscripts and writing projects as orphans, let alone...embryonic. Yet, that's exactly what they are! I SO LOVE that description of them. And I now also feel saddened I've orphaned my babies, upon viewing them in this new light. Time to go reclaimed them and value their worth!!
Your words here are definitely "emoetry" and have knocked me off-kilter. I am so on my way over to your site RIGHT NOW.
I'm glad Julie has featured you here. Welcome. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Demetria-- Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad you love Alexandra's writing as much as do. Like you, I find her voice powerful and touching.
DeleteLovely meeting both of you ladies today! And hey, I live in Florida too *waves*
ReplyDeleteJamie, thanks for stopping by and stickin' around. Glad to know you too! I'm going to move to Florida. February in Colorado is chilly!
Deletebeautiful story, sweetly told! not only did you grow on your journey, you helped others to succeed! so glad to meet you! look forward to reading your published works some day!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by Tara. I love her writing-- agree it's a beautiful story.
DeleteYour students are so lucky. I hope the crazy world of school funding never takes a dedicated teacher like you out of the classroom.
ReplyDeleteAmen, Susan!
DeleteAloha Alexandra,
ReplyDeleteOh boy, here I am late to the party - again.
But, thank you so much for sharing and I *love* your passion and wish you nothing but the best for your writing - and life - as you join us "old fogies" in their forties :)
(Thanks, Julie, for highlighting another great writer :)
Hi Mark-- Thanks for stopping by. We are so blessed by an abundance of great writers, aren't we?
DeleteI wonder how many books are actually read (even partially) before being rejected.
ReplyDelete